THIS IS YOUR NOW
Midlife isn't a crisis - it's an invitation
Change. It’s sneaky. It shows up uninvited on a Tuesday morning wearing loss, boredom, and restlessness like a disguise. But what if it’s actually a doorway? What if that ache, that longing, is an invitation to a powerful and beautiful unknown?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the past few months. One day it was my 24-7 job to be on alert for a tiny human. Now, it’s my job to let go of that no-longer tiny human (see picture below!) so he can create a life of his own. My role has changed and that’s a-okay. He will always be my child. I will always be his mother. My job is not to obsess about his life, but to trust him to live it. So, what should I do now? Shift my attention to myself!
Did that last statement give you heart palpitations? Attention…100 percent…on little ole me? Yep. That’s your new job, sister. It’s the very thing you’ve been resisting.
“Aha!” You say, “but Anna, I don’t have kids. So…nana-nana-boo-boo on you!” I hear that. But…I guarantee there is something or someone you are still obsessing about to avoid the reality that life has changed. Oh, and, by the way…life has always changed. We’re just gonna stop resisting it so damn much. Sound good?
Ways we try to outsmart change (but, ahem, it always catches up)
Cleaning the bedroom of a teenager or even a, gulp, adult child!
Staying at a job you dislike even though you have the financial ability to retire at any time.
Staying at a job that bores you because you don’t have the money to retire, but have decided that you are too old to change or to be considered for anything else.
Procrasti-learning – you continue to sign up for yet another certificate, training program, bit of validation to make you worthy of the life you want, but it’s never enough.
Busying yourself by “collecting underpants” – a term my husband and I use for gathering mass amounts of information and resources, but then never acting on any of it. You’re forever building and planning, but never launch!
Offering yourself as the solution to every problem for everyone you know. This is a great strategy for being a “she’s so nice” martyr (I say that with love) AND can leave you overextended and far too tired to even think about your own wants and needs.
Amassing large amounts of debt so you can FOR SURE never even consider what it might be like to step off the hamster wheel of “normal” expectations.
Sign up for yet another distraction project, such as renovating a perfectly nice bathroom for the fourth time because, well, ya know…
Ouch, right? Yeah. I feel ya. The goal is not to shame or sucker punch anyone. In fact, the only reason I have things to share here is because I’ve witnessed, done, or tripped over these things myself! This is not about self flagellation, it’s about awareness.
Were you able to see any ways that you may be resisting change at this age and stage of life? Are there things that you’re doing to intentionally stay stuck because it feels safer than imagining a different now, a different future?
Deep breath, my friend. You’ve got this. We’ve got this.
Change and midlife aren’t the enemy.
Resistance, waiting for permission…these are the things that will trip you up.
You’re not too late. You’re not too old. You’re not done.
Just stop abandoning the woman you’ve become. Trust her. She knows her stuff.
This is your now. This is your moment.
I can’t wait to see what happens when you STRUT towards it.
💙 Anna
@strutwithanna | strutwithanna.com